Sexual Assault: It Can't Happen to Me, Right?

It's called "optimism bias" and it's a well-established intuitive human response. Optimism bias is the phenomenon where individuals disproportionately believe that they will not become a victim even though they believe -- or statistics prove -- that a peril exists and it's widely acknowledged that it could occur.

"We see the same phenomenon with smoking, obesity and natural disasters," says David Ropeik, a professor at the Harvard School of Public Health. "If you don't think it will happen to you, then you won't take any precautions."

A New York Times poll indicated that typical Americans think that a future terrorism attack is likely, yet the vast majority of them have not prepared for an attack by preparing a stockpile of water and food and designating a family meeting place.

I've encountered similar examples of optimism bias from women about their personal safety:

"I don't need self-defense training because I used to be married to a black belt";
"I'm too big to be raped";
"Oh, I'm way too old, no one is interested in raping me";
"I'm married and live in a safe area."

The above comments are actual quotes from women with whom I've spoken to about safety. I'm still baffled by the first comment. I'm not sure how one former spouse can somehow transfer physical skills to the other...

The sad fact is that no matter who you are, how old you are, what you look like or where you live, you are still at risk. I used to quibble about statistics -- is it really one out of four women are likely be attacked or is it one out of five? But studies suggest that sexual assaults are grossly underreported by perhaps a factor of ten. In other words, there are probably more than ten times the amount of attacks than are actually reported.

Statistics aside, the impact of sexual assault in our society is huge --  the anecdotal evidence I get from women is that almost every single one has either been attacked sometime in their life or they personally know another woman who has.  That's staggering.

The sad fact is that it could happen to you.  It happens to women and girls just like you every day.  Every hour.  Every minute.

So you need to be prepared.  I said prepared, not paranoid.  If you are constantly training to defeat an attack by a bad guy, that's being prepared.  If you are constantly training to defeat an attack by a vampire, that's paranoid.

So how should you prepare?  You'll need to work within three main areas: 

1. Mental training
2. Tactical training
3. Physical training

I have referred to this triad before as Psychological, Proximal and Physical.

First is mental or psychological training.  Realize that bad things can happen to good people and accept that you will be responsible for your own safety and survival.  Develop your awareness of people around you, potential danger areas, and situational red flags.   Develop a mindset that allows you to focus on surviving any confrontation. 

Secondly, begin to implement all of those daily habits and behaviors which will make you a hard target for potential attackers.  Use barriers effectively, protect your privacy, decrease risky behaviors.   Utilize personal safety and security methods and tactics discussed here (check this site as well as security information on Defend University including the self-defense questions and the self-defense newsletter archives.)

Finally, begin receiving instruction and training in employing the actual physical techniques of self-defense.  Even though you may have developed the will to resist, you also need to develop the skill to effectively resist an attack from someone who most certainly will be bigger and stronger than you.  Look for women's self-defense instructors who employ the latest information and methods for girls and women.  Take up a martial art.  Get fit.  Remember, self-defense is not a spectator sport, it's going to involve contact.  Train accordingly.

You only have one life, fight for it!